About
Ernesto "Tito" Tinajero
Why is influence so important? And why then is ethical influence so important to living a good life? Many times when we think of influence it is in the context of sales and professional life. We are told it is good to practice influence to make more sales, and increased compliance and efficiency. All of this is true, but as I have been mastering the art of ethical influence, I also have found that ethical influence has a deeper more important part in the good life. And yes I could tell you about being a certified ethical influence trainer. I could give you tips and tools about how to get others to agree to your requests. All of which is true. Let me share a parable that happened to me that can reveal the power of influence.
The Importance of Influence
When my son was born, I was the happiest I have ever been. He was a happy baby and for the first few months, all was going great. Then my wife noticed some brown spots on our baby. They had not been but just started to appear. I googled what the brown spots could be. This is when Google is not your friend. Our son could have NF-1 the same condition that the Elephant Man, Joesph Merrick might have had. Fear came down like a black theatrical current. What stage my son’s play be performed?
He had freckling in his eyes, another marker for NF-1. Then at six months, his left eye started to protrude. The doctor ordered an MRI and told us to make an appointment with a neurologist. We had the MRI and booked the first available date with the neurologist, though we had to wait a couple of months. For those few weeks, we were led to believe that it was a Haemangioma and that was treatable and nothing serious. The day of the appointment with the neurologist. We were led to a waiting room. And we waited and we waited and we waited. The doctor finally came in. He had just seen the MRI just that day and had been on the phone with colleagues. He asked us what we knew or had been told. We said that we were told it was the possibility of a Haemangioma and nothing to worry about. The doctor said he was unsure what it was, but it was serious: missing skull bone and mass behind the eyes. He had not seen anything like it and was asking for permission to do exploratory surgery. If he could not find anything, he would then refer us to Seattle Children’s Hospital. I asked for the referral immediately but was told that was not how it was done.
That night, I used my influence tools in an email to Seattle Children’s Hospital. We were there for a couple of weeks. They confirmed that my son indeed had NF-1 and that the missing skull bone was a known condition. My son had a seven-hour surgery when he turned one. We have been to the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, Children’s Hospital in Washington DC, and the National Institute of Health in Bethesda, MD. Through all the medical ups and downs, the tools of influence that I learned from Dr. Robert Cialdini played a crucial role. Getting yeses to my requests was for the very health of my child.